What Annoys Me About Online Dating

So I have been online dating off and on for a while. I have met some great people…some not so amazing. Some baffling  (but certainly funny post stories). I have had some short term (good) relationships from it. Here are a few things that I’ve noticed not only in myself but also verified with others.

  1. Have Pictures. It is not just a male thing to be physically drawn to someone. I will not respond at all if a guy can’t take the time to put up a photo. What are you hiding?
  2. Quality Pictures. There are a few notes on this one.
    1. If a dude can’t smile in a picture, do you not smile in real life? Are your teeth horrible?
    2. Don’t post only one picture that is so out of focus I can barely tell it is a human in that photo.
    3. Don’t post all photos of you in a group where I have to try to figure out who is the common denominator.
    4. If there is a photo of you and one other lady – I don’t know who that is…it may be your daughter, sister or ex. I will immediately say no thank you.
    5. I’ve seen what a beach and a mountain look like – or I can check them out on Pinterest. I’m not on a dating site to see a pretty beach.
    6. I will assume if all your photos have you wearing a hat that you are bald (and rather than being bald and proud -that you want to hide that)
    7. I will assume that if all your photos are only face shots that you have a size-able gut. (Again…are you hiding that…wouldn’t I see it the first time we meet?)
  3. Use The Phone. Novel concept here – but if you’ve asked for my number and I’ve given it to you…it means you can use it. Yep, any day now. (Still waiting…) Um? Why ask for a phone number if you don’t call or text?
  4. Ask Us Out. Aren’t these sites called DATING sites? Or perhaps I’m missing something…I don’t really need another pen-pal or Facebook friend. I am on these sites to meet someone. So guys who get nervous.. um.. just go ahead an ask us out. A coffee or something simple. IN PERSON. By the time we’ve messaged you, maybe even exchanged numbers for a friendly text banter…we’re intersted. We won’t turn you down! (Unless we really do have to fly to Abu Dhabi for that work conference early the next morning).
    1. Of note: IF you do finally get up the nerves to ask us out. Make real plans not just “sometime this weekend.” I don’t know what that means and how to plan my life around it (or if I WANT to plan my life around that). Is it dinner? Is it coffee on Sunday morning? And if you don’t clarify…I’m not sure if I call you to clarify or if you will reach out to me. Am I being to forward to say, “Hey I thought we were going out…so…um… like…when/where?”
  5. Dating Does Not Equal Sex. Just because I’ve accepted a coffee date with you does not mean that we can now sleep together (or that I want to sleep with your for that matter). If there is chemistry. It’s there. Great. But don’t ask about sex on that (or right after) that first coffee date.
  6. Respond Even If It’s No Thanks. I don’t know about you but when it comes to manners there seems to be fewer and fewer. If I have taken the time to message you and you’re not interested. Please just say so. At least respond one way or another.
  7. Just Stop. Hey if there’s no chemistry when you meet (or talked on the phone and something wasn’t right even in that call). Don’t text me back like a stalker. I know this is a weird one to fall under “respond” but is also means. Don’t respond if we’ve politely declined.

I do believe that this does go both ways. There are annoying things about women on online dating sites as well. Is there the perfect match out there? Have I joined the right site(s)? Did I swipe left when I meant to swipe right and I’m missing Mr. Perfect right now?