So I have been online dating off and on for a while. I have met some great people…some not so amazing. Some baffling (but certainly funny post stories). I have had some short term (good) relationships from it. Here are a few things that I’ve noticed not only in myself but also verified with others.
- Have Pictures. It is not just a male thing to be physically drawn to someone. I will not respond at all if a guy can’t take the time to put up a photo. What are you hiding?
- Quality Pictures. There are a few notes on this one.
- If a dude can’t smile in a picture, do you not smile in real life? Are your teeth horrible?
- Don’t post only one picture that is so out of focus I can barely tell it is a human in that photo.
- Don’t post all photos of you in a group where I have to try to figure out who is the common denominator.
- If there is a photo of you and one other lady – I don’t know who that is…it may be your daughter, sister or ex. I will immediately say no thank you.
- I’ve seen what a beach and a mountain look like – or I can check them out on Pinterest. I’m not on a dating site to see a pretty beach.
- I will assume if all your photos have you wearing a hat that you are bald (and rather than being bald and proud -that you want to hide that)
- I will assume that if all your photos are only face shots that you have a size-able gut. (Again…are you hiding that…wouldn’t I see it the first time we meet?)
- Use The Phone. Novel concept here – but if you’ve asked for my number and I’ve given it to you…it means you can use it. Yep, any day now. (Still waiting…) Um? Why ask for a phone number if you don’t call or text?
- Ask Us Out. Aren’t these sites called DATING sites? Or perhaps I’m missing something…I don’t really need another pen-pal or Facebook friend. I am on these sites to meet someone. So guys who get nervous.. um.. just go ahead an ask us out. A coffee or something simple. IN PERSON. By the time we’ve messaged you, maybe even exchanged numbers for a friendly text banter…we’re intersted. We won’t turn you down! (Unless we really do have to fly to Abu Dhabi for that work conference early the next morning).
- Of note: IF you do finally get up the nerves to ask us out. Make real plans not just “sometime this weekend.” I don’t know what that means and how to plan my life around it (or if I WANT to plan my life around that). Is it dinner? Is it coffee on Sunday morning? And if you don’t clarify…I’m not sure if I call you to clarify or if you will reach out to me. Am I being to forward to say, “Hey I thought we were going out…so…um… like…when/where?”
- Dating Does Not Equal Sex. Just because I’ve accepted a coffee date with you does not mean that we can now sleep together (or that I want to sleep with your for that matter). If there is chemistry. It’s there. Great. But don’t ask about sex on that (or right after) that first coffee date.
- Respond Even If It’s No Thanks. I don’t know about you but when it comes to manners there seems to be fewer and fewer. If I have taken the time to message you and you’re not interested. Please just say so. At least respond one way or another.
- Just Stop. Hey if there’s no chemistry when you meet (or talked on the phone and something wasn’t right even in that call). Don’t text me back like a stalker. I know this is a weird one to fall under “respond” but is also means. Don’t respond if we’ve politely declined.
I do believe that this does go both ways. There are annoying things about women on online dating sites as well. Is there the perfect match out there? Have I joined the right site(s)? Did I swipe left when I meant to swipe right and I’m missing Mr. Perfect right now?