I got in a fight with my teen age son the other night. As I am narrowing down to finally move back to his side of town (I am living with my parents on the complete opposite side of town for one month while I close on my house). When I moved I had asked my ex to keep the kids during the week (so we don’t have a 4 hour commute – two hours back and forth each day in traffic). This was so that they could stay with their friends. They could be close to their after school activities (my son playing football and my daughter in cheer). The agreement though was that I would keep the every other weekend that is part of our divorce agreement. (And Thanksgiving which falls in the middle of that).
My son’s final football game was played on Friday and I had planned on getting him after that game and bring him to my parents house for the weekend. Along with my daughter. My parents live in a decent sized three bedroom house – but one of the rooms has been converted into an office/craft room, leaving only one room for my son, daughter and I to sleep in. But they did offer to put together a blow-up bed. He has told me in the past that that room “freaks him out.” While I don’t know why because it opens to a fenced in back yard. I agreed to have my parents prepare the blow up and I would plan to sleep there while my son and daughter could be in the one bedroom.
I had also planned to take him to one of his favorite all you can eat restaurants, Cinzetti’s. Cinzetti’s serves Italian food. He had specifically asked to eat there once while we were up here. This was to be the Saturday – as I am only staying one month and last week we went to a Mystery Dinner (more on that in another post). I had even invited my sister’s youngest (his cousin) to come spend the night too – so it would seem more like a slumber party – and kids could be around kids. Who doesn’t love cousins?
But he said no. He got my ex on the phone and riled me up. He screamed at me that I was an awful parent. That I did not make the trip down to see the kids one night last week to take them to dinner. I thought I had been doing the right thing leaving them to their football, cheer and homework – rather than forcing them to spend a dinner with me. This time of year they are very busy with all their activities. He said it was my fault that I had no place for him to sleep (what he doesn’t understand is that I DO have a place – it is just not convenient – and on the other side of town away from his friends).
It really hurt my heart. The way he was yelling. I know this sounds like complaining and 1st world problems for certain. I do hope that one day my son will know that I love him. That I am not a bad parent as his dad has made him believe. I hope that he knows I had things planned specifically for him. So that HE could feel more comfortable. That there are kids that don’t have a place to stay at all – let alone two options. That there are kids that don’t have food to eat – let alone an offer for an all you can eat restaurant where he can eat to his heart’s content. I hope that he knows…one day….how much I miss him for just a week. I know that one day I will need to let him go anyway. I hope that one day he doesn’t have to make difficult decisions like not seeing his kids for a month because of circumstances a little out of his control.